


never knew loving could hurt this good, oh

by eversall



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 17:49:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5215034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eversall/pseuds/eversall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One second Barba is talking to Benson about the case, stressed and irritated, and the next Carisi is walking through the door like a beam of fucking sunlight to his starving eyes. He doesn’t know if he says anything, he thinks he makes a strangled noise before he drops everything he’s holding and strides across the station to crush the younger man’s lips against his, demanding and desperate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	never knew loving could hurt this good, oh

**Author's Note:**

> whats my excuse for this? NOTHING, that's what. I'm SVU trash that binge-watched season 16 and 17 and loved Carisi so much and also loved that Barba is absolutely pulling pigtails with him. obviously they're meant to be.  
> (yeah and this story is really disjointed because I have two huge papers due so not much time to flesh this story out further SORRY)  
> title taken from Troye Sivan's song Wild, which is super good give it a listen.

One second Barba is talking to Benson about the case, stressed and irritated, and the next Carisi is walking through the door like a beam of fucking sunlight to his starving eyes. He doesn’t know if he says anything, he thinks he makes a strangled noise before he drops everything he’s holding and strides across the station to crush the younger man’s lips against his, demanding and desperate.

.              

It started at the station, when Carisi was working overtime and Barba had dropped by to collect paperwork. They’d both been tired and keyed up, so when Carisi had casually mentioned _would be nice to have someone to share a bed with in these times_ – and Barba still isn’t sure for the life of him why Carisi blurts these things out without thinking – Barba had just as unthinkingly _agreed_.

He’s pretty sure he managed to find a way to insult the detective in the process, but that’s just him. With Carisi, for some reason he can’t help himself. The insults roll off his tongue as easily as breathing, and he feels the guilt every time those young eyes flash, but at the same time – yeah, come on, that’s just how he is. He’s bitter and sharp, and if Carisi can’t learn to talk back to that he’ll get nowhere with that law degree.

It was just sex, rough and biting and perfect. That first time, Barba had taken Carisi to his apartment and bent him over the kitchen table, fucking him until that pretty mouth had been nothing but a begging mess. But more often than not after that, Carisi had been the one to invite Barba over and push him against the wall, fucking him relentlessly and teasingly, always smirking and drawling filthy things into the shell of Barba’s ear.

Their work relationship didn’t change. In fact, it improved. Carisi had started to argue back when Babra dismissed him, just a little. Bossy in bed and bossy at work, Barba had caught himself thinking fondly one day when Carisi had looked affronted at Barba dismissing his legal advice and had fired another provision right back at him.     

And maybe that’s where it all started, because Barba wasn’t good at separating his personal life from his professional life. Or, he was, but not with Carisi because Carisi was – god, so different from anyone he’d ever met before. Carisi wasn’t bitter, but he wasn’t naïve either. He was a good man, with a heart of gold and an easy grin, and it drove Barba crazy, how much he wanted the younger detective.

So maybe that’s why Barba starts watching him more than usual, watches as he takes calls from his sisters and laughs, his head thrown back and the long line of his neck looking edible even in the shitty light of the station. The way he strides, purposeful, down the steps of the courthouse to – to help an _old lady_ , god Barba is so screwed.

Of course, because the universe hates Manhattan SVU, that’s when Carisi decides to get shot during a routine questioning.

.

Barba spends an agonizing ten hours at the hospital, pacing back and forth and harassing the doctors and nurses before Benson makes him leave. He has a case to argue that day, and somehow he makes it through and wins without really paying attention to what he’s doing. All that runs through his head is _Sonny’s hands his hair his lips his eyes his laugh his smile his everything_ and he doesn’t want to find out what his life is like without the kid in it.

.

“You kissed me.” Carisi – _Sonny_ says slowly, looking shocked. Barba is still clutching at the lapels of Sonny’s jacket, and he doesn’t feel like letting go anytime soon. “Um. In front of the whole station?”

“Yes. Great detective work.” Barba says, sounding fond instead of cuttingx, which isn’t as bad as he thought it would be.

“Is that…something we do now?” Sonny asks cautiously, sliding his hands up to rest against Barba’s arms when it becomes clear Barba isn’t going to walk away and pretend nothing happened.

“It’s what people in relationships do, Sonny.” Barba says simply, and watches as the obvious answer dawns on Sonny and he grins, bright and infectious.

“Alright, _Rafael_. Wanna get out of here and take me on a real date?” Sonny asks cheekily, and it finally occurs to Barba that everyone is staring at them. Amaro is handing Rollins a twenty and Fin is grudgingly handing over a wad of cash to Benson.

“Rollins I expected, but you, Benson?” Barba asks, surprised. She usually doesn’t take such a cavalier attitude towards office gambling, and especially doesn’t participate in it.                

“What, you think I wouldn’t notice he’s wearing your ties more often than he’s wearing his own?” she says, shaking her head, and Barba turns to Sonny and looks at him accusingly, and Sonny grins sheepishly.

“You take my ties?” Barba asks, exasperated.

“In my defense, you apparently can’t tell the difference when I wear mine and when I wear yours so does it really matter?” Sonny asks brightly. “C’mon. Date.”

As they make their way out of the station to catcalls and whoops, Sonny leans down and whispers “I know I said date but I hope you’re taking me to your apartment to sleep for three days at least.”

“Ahead of you.” Barba mutters, pulling up takeout menus on his phone. “We’re only getting up for takeout and sex.”

“In that order?” Sonny asks. “Shame.”

“It’s…up for discussion.” Barba says, smirking.

.

When they do get to his apartment Barba carefully helps an exhausted Sonny undress. He takes a shower while Sonny snuggles into the blankets, and as he towels his hair dry he gazes at the man tangled up in his sheets. Sonny’s hair is coming loose, curls falling around his forehead and making him look impossibly younger. He’s blinking owlishly, long lashes fluttering open and close as he tries to stay awake until Barba gets into bed.

“Go to sleep.” Barba says softly, sliding in next to Sonny and throwing an arm around the other man’s waist. He curls his hand into Sonny’s hip, fingertips tracing the sharp jut of his hipbones, and strokes the skin beneath his fingers soothingly as the tension seems to leave Sonny’s shoulders and he falls asleep.

Yeah, Barba thinks to himself, this is good. This, he’s willing to die for.

.

They wake up late the next morning, around lunchtime, and Barba’s barely managed to open his eyes before Sonny slides on top of him, strong forearms bracketing his body, and leans down to press his lips insistently against Barba’s.

“Morning breath.” Barba mutters darkly between kisses, and Sonny smirks before diving in and darting a tongue out, sighing minutely as Barba opens his mouth under him and they tangle into more frantic kisses. Barba gives as good as he gets, licking his way into Sonny’s mouth as he smoothly flips them.

“No pressure on your arms or your chest, you just got _shot_.” He berates before tugging Sonny’s shirt up and dragging his blunt nails across the younger man’s chest. Sonny shivers and squirms under him as Barba catches a nipple with his fingers and rolls it, following his fingers with his tongue and teeth.

“Mmmm –nggh – c’mon, stop teasing – ah! – “ Sonny bites out as his hips snap up, seeking friction that Barba isn’t giving as he relentlessly teases Sonny’s sensitive nipples and drags his hand through the trail of darker hair disappearing below the waistband of his sweatpants. Barba hums noncommittally as he licks his way down the gorgeous planes of Sonny’s body, slowly dragging his pants and boxers down. Sonny’s cock springs free, hard and already leaking.

“Been thinking about you since I woke up in the hospital.” Sonny admits breathlessly as Barba goes down on him, sucking deeply and sloppily. Sonny likes his blowjobs messy, and Barba complies, setting an easy pace and squeezing the base of Sonny’s dick lightly a few times and going slowly to make sure Sonny doesn’t come yet.

“Can I fuck you?” he asks Sonny seriously, his eyes gazing intently at the younger man, and Sonny flushes pink and his pupils dilate.

“Yeah, yeah, c’mon,” Sonny rasps as Barba scrabbles through the bedside drawers for lube, “fuck me ‘till I can’t walk straight.” Barba moans a little at that as he presses little kisses to the insides of Sonny’s thighs, circling a dripping finger around the tight, puckered little hole. He presses one finger in slowly, waiting for Sonny to adjust before sliding it in and out leisurely.

He takes his time fingering Sonny, not listening to the pleas that increase in force as he adds more fingers and scissors them, finding Sonny’s prostrate and hitting it with every other thrust of his hand.

“Could you come like this, from me just fingering you?” he asks softly, marveling at the expanse of pale skin laid out wrecked beneath him. Sonny moans and grips Barba’s shoulders tighter.

“Please, please,” he nearly sobs out, “ _Rafael_ , I need you in me, now, _fuck_ -“ And oh, his given name sounds so good rolling off of Sonny’s tongue, and Barba obliges, pulling out and rolling a condom on hastily. He leans over and kisses Sonny sloppily as he pushes in and they both sigh as Barba bottoms out. Sonny’s skin is sweaty and flushed and Barba dips down to the hollow of his perfect neck and licks at the sweat pooled there and _bites_ as he starts fucking Sonny relentlessly, the sound of his balls slapping against Sonny’s ass obscene and all kinds of _hot_.

Sonny wails, clawing at Barba’s back and spewing all sorts of profanities and endearments with _Rafael_ thrown in the mix too. Barba can’t hold himself back from being just as enthusiastic, murmuring encouraging words against Sonny’s ear, entwining their hands and bringing them to rest above Sonny’s head. He feels Sonny tremble against him, and he drops one hand down to Sonny’s cock, stroking firmly as he makes shushing noises and kisses the younger man deeply. Sonny breaks away panting harshly, and his eyes flutter close as he moans, long and loud, as he comes hard. Barba follows close behind, thrusting mindlessly through Sonny’s orgasm.

They collapse back into the bed, Barba mindful of Sonny’s injuries as he pulls out and tosses the condom into the trash. Sonny immediately snuggles into him, long limbs wrapping around Barba as he tucks his face into the crook of Barba’s neck.

“We shoulda done this a long time ago.” Sonny mumbles sleepily, and Barba can feel him smiling. He allows himself a small smile as well, and presses a fond kiss into Sonny’s curls.

.

So yes, Barba isn’t one for public displays of affection. But something about Sonny makes him want to _touch_ – an accidental brush of hands, fingertips against the nape of Sonny’s neck, a small kiss pressed absently to the corner of his mouth before he heads out of the station. It’s good, he thinks. They fight, and they make up, and they struggle together through a relationship, a thing neither of them has ever been that good at. Sometimes the smallest arguments (“You wear too much gel in your hair, Sonny.”) lead to the biggest blowouts (they don’t speak to each other for a week before Sonny caves and falls into Barba’s grateful arms). Sometimes neither of them can bring themselves to discuss commitment (Sonny pays rent on an apartment he’s never at for six months before he officially moves in). Sometimes – many times – the job gets in the way (Barba fights several cases where the defense tries to argue that since he is in a relationship with an SVU detective, everything he says should be discounted, but Barba’s worked too hard to be fazed by such an amateur argument).

And sometimes, they get it just right. Sonny buys a set of rings and proposes on the steps of the courthouse, and the world around them fades away as Barba drops his briefcase in surprise and says _yes_ before he’s even sure what’s happening. They kiss as the rest of the team cheers around them, and that night they lie tangled together in the sheets, nearly giddy with happiness.

“We’re _so_ good at this.” Sonny says triumphantly.

“Good at…our relationship?” Barba asks, arching an eyebrow in disbelief. Sonny pouts at him, and he allows a small smile.

“Yes.” Barba says. “We _are_ good at this.”

               

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: now you can find me on [ tumblr!!! ](http://eversall.tumblr.com/) i know, you're SO excited *sarcasm*


End file.
